


a dream within a dream

by itotallyreadthatbook



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst, M/M, Nightmares, baz comforts simon, i love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-16 08:02:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10567062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itotallyreadthatbook/pseuds/itotallyreadthatbook
Summary: Simon has a nightmare. Baz comforts him. Set in the cannon universe, seven months after the end of the book.





	

**Author's Note:**

> so i've written this for the snowbaz feda (fic every day in april). i'm not participating all days, i only just found out yesterday that this exists, but i thought: hey, i have an idea. let's write.

I wake up. Everything is dark.  
For a minute, I am confused. I don’t know what is going on. But then I feel the warmth of Simon against my chest, and I immediately know why it is so dark.  
Simon Snow is having a nightmare.

 

This happens every now and then. Obviously, horrible things have happened last year. We are all still damaged by the things we have seen and done. But Simon has the worst nightmares of us. He told me once what they were about.

‘It’s mostly about losing you, or Penny or Agatha. Sometimes, I relive events that happened. The Mage’s death, for example.’ Simon played with my fingers. ‘It’s terrible, Baz. I don’t know how long I can take this.’  
‘It is okay, love,’ I said, gently stroking the back of his hand. ‘I have nightmares too. We will get through this together.’  
Simon smiled. ‘Thanks.’

 

The reason it is so dark, is because Simon has his wings wrapped around me. That is something he always does when he is having a nightmare, though he is not aware of it. When I told him this, he was surprised. Apparently, even in his sleep Simon wants to keep me safe.I’ve said this before, but Simon is too pure for this world. He doesn’t deserve me. But that is a whole other story.

I gently pull him closer. He is shaking, muttering words, he’s afraid. He shouldn’t be.  
‘Simon,’ I whisper, ‘everything will be alright. Wake up, it’s just a nightmare.’  
I repeat the words over and over and over. After a couple of minutes, Simon’s eyes flutter open.  
‘Baz,’ he pants. ‘I thought you were gone forever…’  
‘Shh, love. Everything is fine. Calm down.’ I cup his face with my hands. ‘I’m here.’  
Simon starts to sob and buries his face in my chest. ‘It just so horrible. You were dead and I was the only one…’ He can’t even finish his sentence because he is sobbing.  
It breaks my heart to see him like this. ‘That was just a dream. I’m still here.’  
Simon nods. ‘I know, I know.’ He takes in deep breaths and finally calms down a little. I get him up in bed. I feel his wings rustle away from my back.  
That’s a good sign. It means he thinks he is safe again.

Over the past months, I’ve began to understand Simon Snow a lot better. I can now read him like a book. At times like this, that’s good. Sometimes, it is not so good. But let’s not talk about that.  
Tears are still streaming down Simon’s face. I gently wipe them away with my thumb.  
‘Are you okay?’ I ask.  
‘Almost,’ he responds. Then he looks up, his face concerned. ‘Baz, why are you crying? You’re not hurt, aren’t you?’

Amazed, I bring my hand to my cheek. It’s wet from tears. ‘No, I’m not hurt,’ I finally say.  
‘They why are you crying?’ Simon asks. He stares at me with his big blue eyes.  
‘When people you love are hurt, or in pain, you can cry sometimes too. That’s a reaction some people have. And it hurts me to see you like this. That is why,’ I explain. ‘I can feel it in my chest.’  
Simon eyes fill with tears again. ‘You shouldn’t. I’m okay.’  
‘Please don’t start crying again, or I will start too,’ I say. Simon smiles.  
‘How can I not cry when you say such beautiful things? But if we keep going on like this, we are stuck in a vicious cycle of crying forever. What a life would that be,’ he says. I chuckle a little.  
‘Not exactly what I had planned.’  
‘Me neither.’ Simon stares at me for a while. ‘Are you okay?’  
I nod. ‘Yes. Let’s get back to sleep.’

I love how Simon buries his face in my chest. I love how he uses me as a human pillow. I love how he trusts me, no matter what. I love that he cares about me.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!


End file.
